This is the story of my family’s life-changing decluttering project last year. How we did it, why we did it, and what we learned along the way!

Around this time last year A Big Meeting was being held somewhere in Dubai. Not around a boardroom table in the financial centre, but in the security of our home of 10 years. Not between a high-powered delegation of lawyers and bankers, but the most important people in my life… my husband and our 6 year old son. (The three cats were also present, but didn’t have voting rights). The motion being discussed: Should we go home to Scotland?

My biggest concern, other than taking our son out of school, away from the only home he had ever known, was the stuff. We arrived in Dubai 12 years ago with a suitcase each, one cat, and my U2 vinyl record collection. We now had a son, three cats and a three-bedroom villa full of furniture. My Project Life albums full of photographs and memorabilia of our time in the Middle East and before. Memories, trinkets, a treasured rug collection. And my beloved garden full of exotic plants that I had only ever dreamed of growing in Scotland. Moving would be a huge undertaking.

But by bedtime that night, the decision had been made. Team Carruthers were going home to Scotland! To set up new businesses. To have more time together as a family. To design a life for ourselves that we loved. For me that meant developing my little blog into a fully-fledged business as a professional declutterer and organiser. So if anyone could box this home up and ship it safely halfway round the world, it was me!

Challenge accepted

When the shipping companies came to quote for the move, they all told us that the contents of a 3-bed villa always needed a 40ft container. The surveyors looked at our superking-sized beds, the heavy Indian wood sideboards, the huge 8-seater dining table and nodded quietly to themselves. This was a standard “Expats return home to the UK” situation. “You’ll need a 40ft container Ma’am” they all agreed “If you are lucky“.  Even though our home was already relatively clutter-free (or so I thought) I knew that we could downsize. So we booked a 20ft container, half the size they suggested, Dubai to Grangemouth, to depart from our home on 24 June. Leaving us 9 weeks to get rid of half of our belongings. Challenge accepted!

First things first

With any project, you need an objective, a plan and the buy-in of everyone involved. Our objective was simple: To build a life for ourselves that we love. As the decluttering progressed, we often found ourselves going back to this phrase for guidance, moral support or plain justification! I think it helped us all to focus on why we were doing this.

We planned to declutter the house room-by-room to start with, and then to dig deep and make the trickier decisions towards the end, when our decluttering muscles were well and truly warmed up and we had learned how to make difficult choices.

The key thing was to get everyone on board with both the objective and the plan. We explained them to our little guy and I was surprised at how much he was prepared to let go. I wanted him to feel as secure as possible throughout the move and beyond, so if it meant taking every last Lego brick of his, I was prepared to do that. However, he was happy to donate toys, clothes and books to children’s charities. A perfectly-timed Charity Week at school, with a focus on giving, helped. And selling some of the larger items gave him some money to spend once he got to Scotland. We were really proud of how much he focused on the goal and was able to part with some of his own possessions.

Decisions, decisions

Decluttering room by room was my plan, starting with the rooms we used the least. Once the last of the visitors disappeared in mid-April, I set to clearing out the guest room. This was also the most difficult room, our Clutter Limbo. If we didn’t know what to do with something, if we weren’t brave enough to say goodbye, it went to the guest room. It’s true what they say, clutter really is the result of postponed decisions – even in an organised home.

Clutter is the result of postponed decisions Click To Tweet

Clothes that I loved but never had the opportunity to wear were in the wardrobe. Pictures we had never got round to framing were stacked against the wall. But the most difficult items were under the spare bed: the crib, cot, travel cot and pram that I’d been saving. Suddenly I had to face the truth that I’d been denying for too long – that we wouldn’t be having the second child that I had been dreaming of for years.

I cried whilst dusting it all off, taking photos and listing it for sale on local Facebook selling groups. I cried when items sold, and excited couples came to take away the baby equipment that I had spent so many weeks choosing and arranging. For me, this was the hardest part of the whole move, but I realised that I was mourning the decluttering of my perfectly-planned future, rather than the physical objects themselves. Once it had all gone, and I had space under the bed, I found it easier to come to terms with the situation, and to count my blessings – the family that I did have, and the new future that we were building for ourselves. It was all quite liberating and I started to think I should have done it years ago.

A new hobby and a new career

As I decluttered my old past-times (gardening, embroidery, baking… and the clutter that accompanies them) I found a new hobby: decluttering! OK, I’d been decluttering and organising for a few years by now, but a project of this scale taught me so much more about the emotions connected to our stuff. How hard it can be to say goodbye to an old paint pot (that our son had used when he first painted as a baby). To break up a spice collection built over a decade because the rules didn’t allow us to transport food stuffs in our shipping container. Even to choose which tea towels to pack and which to donate!

Suddenly, everything was filled with memories and had a meaning. I tried to embrace those memories and enjoy them as I went through the process. And as every day passed, I felt more certain that I had chosen the right path – that decluttering and organising was the right career choice for me.

What went well: Decluttering like a pro!

• We had an objective that helped to focus and guide us through the process. We were able to imagine us living in a new home, surrounded only by things we really need or love.
• The whole family was on board. Our friends supported us and often popped round to help or just be there for moral support and coffee.
• We found a good mix of methods that worked for us – a balance of decluttering by room and by category. Remember that there is no “one size fits all” decluttering method, and instead work out what suits you best. If in doubt, contact your local professional organiser for advice.
• We enjoyed donating clothing, toys, art supplies, household goods etc. to charity and felt that we had used our excess to help others. This made it much easier to let some things go.
• Take photos of items you want to remember, but not keep. Remember that memories are with you, not with your stuff.
• It felt good to give items to friends so that we could imagine them using them on our behalf (for example, garden furniture, barbecues, plants, our spice collection, alcohol!).
• We made over £3000 selling items on local Facebook pages. I sold items in batches, an only listed 20 items at a time so that I wouldn’t be overwhelmed. We held an “open house sale” to sell the remaining items, advertised on local Facebook groups.
• I kept a list of what I had sold and for how much, so that we had an incentive to keep going. Our target was £1000 but this kept moving as we sold more items.

Please remember:

• Second-hand selling can be a full-time job! Juggling text messages, Facebook messages and phone calls from people you don’t know can be overwhelming. Give yourself plenty of time and be prepared to spend a lot of time on your phone! If this is not for you, consider other methods of selling, or donate instead.
• Most buyers visiting the house were lovely, but unfortunately there were a few rude people too. This can be quite upsetting so don’t think twice about asking people to leave – it’s your house!
• Keep safe at all times. Always have someone else in the house when people come to view or buy items. Check the buyer’s Facebook profile to determine their identity. If in doubt, don’t give your address or commit to the sale.
• We spent so much time decluttering that we didn’t have enough time saying goodbye to friends. Remember to find some balance and don’t let your decluttering take over your life!
• We lost money on our car, as we kept it until the last few days when everyone else was selling, and the market was flooded. Whatever you are selling, think about your timing! E.g. sell barbecues in the spring/summer, list garden equipment on a Saturday morning etc. to get more interest.

The goal!

After two days of packing, the crew put the last box in the container on 24 June. We had done it! Apart from our suitcases, we had packed our entire lives into a big metal box on wheels. We waved goodbye to the container and didn’t see it for another 8 weeks when it arrived in Scotland. And yes, it was a 20ft container, much to the disbelief of the packing crew!

10 months later we are living the life that we planned, surrounded by what we need or love. Decluttering has taught me to spend more wisely, to appreciate what I have, to focus on experiences not things. Of course, life happens and sometimes we have too much stuff lying around. There might sometimes be piles of laundry, or the small plastic toys have accumulated again in our son’s bedroom. But having got rid of half our stuff, it is easier to keep our home decluttered and organised. A quick discard of unnecessary items once in a while stops clutter building up again. It’s not always tidy but it can be tidied up quickly. It’s not supposed to be a showcase for my business – it’s our home and we love it!

If you are looking for help with your own decluttering project, don’t know where to start or how to plan it, get in touch for your free consultation.